Theres been something I have been particularly bothered about.... And yes, this will be a wordy post, you have been warned, so mofos out there, don't complain.
I think I have a love-hate relationship with having a maid.
I have this maid called Devi, and she is really REALLY young.
She's like the youngest maid I've ever heard of and ever had, I wonder if its even legal? Sigh.
I guess her young age adds on to my guilt of having her as a maid.
I won't tell you guys how old she is exactly, but she is older than me. (duh)...
I feel soooo bad whenever I get pissed off with her.
I feel bad for her, and I feel bad for myself.
Like, she does something which seems like she has absolutely no common sense at all and even if it were someone else I'd scold her, but then I also cannot really scold her until too jia lat because she is a poor young girl working in a foreign country to earn some money.
Sigh.
Angry also cannot scold!
I don't really know how to explain it lah. Its something only people with maids can understand.
I really cannot stand whenever people come to my house and when they see me "ordering" my maid around, they say I'M ABUSIVE or that I'm BULLYING HER!!!
Hello, I get these sort of comments often, and ALWAYS from people with NO MAIDS!!!!
It's kinda what they're paid for? To do housework?
To run errands for you?
What the hell do these people know?
They know NOTHING about the frustration that maids can bring you!
They think that people with maids are just rich assholes who cannot be bothered to do their own housework.
They don't understand that some parents are actually OUT THERE MAKING MONEY ALL THE TIME and some kids have SCHOOL (o levels, cough cough)
Thus leaving nobody to do the housework.
And well, some people can just afford it and some people can't.
Don't know why people assume that just because I have a maid, I'm "rich"
I guess different people have different definitions of rich.
Well anyway guess I haven't explained why I hate having a maid sometimes...
Well, here are the upsides of having a maid : There is always someone (who's willing to do chores) at home.
That is so fucking convenient! I mean, whenever I'm hungry at home I don't have to cook anything for myself. I can like, ask her to cook whatever for me and all I have to do is sit back and relax and just enjoy my food later.
And like, I don't have to worry about my room being too messy because I am SUCH a messy person, because I wake up to a wonderfully clean, good-smelling room everyday!
I'm the kinda girl that doesn't fold her bedsheets when she gets up.
Not because I'm lazy, I just don't see the NEED to, unless there are guests coming to the house!
I mean, I kinda like my bed being a bit like a messed up pile of softness (pillows, bolsters..)
It's more "mushy" to lie in, anyway!
I hate it when people tell me to fold my bedsheets nicely (the last time my mum told me that was in primary school)
What's the darn point?! It's just going to get really messed up anyway, and nobody but ME (who doesn't mind) is going to see!
So, because of this, I don't fold my bed covers everyday, and my maid ends up folding it because she makes everything spanking clean. (she'd better, or she'd get a spanking hersef. HAH!!! just kidding. ugh)
And like, omg, I guess that's the first sign of a spoilt brat?! Doesn't even make her bed each morning! Just leaves everything to the maid.
That's what people think of me.
But I feel soooo maligned because even if I didn't have a maid I'd still be like that what. My room will be hell messy, I won't make my bed, blahblah..
But since I already HAVE a maid, she want to clean my room by herself (its her JOB anyway) am I supposed to go like, "Hey no don't clean my room!" ?!??
Although I feel kinda like a spoilt brat, I feel damn privileged at the same time.
Like, my house is always SO SO CLEAN AND TIDY! If anybody has been to my house, they'd know.
So as time goes by, if you're as used to having a maid like me (I've had maids in my life since I was born) you kinda SUCK at doing housework.
Because some days you are too tired, some days you are not interested and just plain lazy, and there are some days when theres really nothing left for you to do anyway.
When you wanna do, the thought of "Got people do for me I do myself for what!" never fails to cross your mind.
And I'm kinda used to leaving everything to my maid to do now!
That's the downside.
I don't make my own bed covers, I don't cook for myself, I don't wash the plates after my meal, I don't wash my clothes when I've stained them, ..
Wtf, I basically do nothing.
And believe me, sometimes it really doesn't feel good!
People usually "look down" on girls who cannot do any housework at all, because apparently a woman is supposed to be good at it and they'd think the girl "hasn't gone through any hardship at all."
Another stupid ASSUMPTION!!!!
People go through different hardship ok. What kind of rubbish is that, doing housework is HARDSHIP meh?
Like that all the housewives in Singapore very poor thing already lor?
People often think I'm this pampered little girl who knows nothing about the real world. But they don't know just how wrong they are.
I actually know a pretty good about the REAL world for a damn 16 year old, and I've been through horrors that many people cannot imagine.
I was actually diagnosed with depression in PRIMARY SCHOOL. Only stopped when I hit Secondary School.
I don't know about you, but if a freaking kid in Pri Sch is thinking about suicide all the time I think her life must be pretty darn sad.
I have been through alot of abuse... which is what I consider more to be "hardship" than HOUSEWORK. but let's not go too deep into details.
There was a time when my family didn't even have a place to stay - forget about maids.
Feels kinda stupid that now when I finally have a maid...
I feel bad leaving everything for the maid to do.
But then I remember - it's her JOB.
I know what some of you will be thinking. "It's her job, still can help her what?!"
If I help her to do the housework, my mother see also buay song.
She will scold the maid or something, thinking that she asked me to help her out...
And why would I want to bring her unnecessarily scoldings like that?
My mother is not exactly very sympathetic with the maid, although she is a nice woman.
I guess the way she was brought up made her this way. Like, my grandparents always have this thinking, "When it comes to work, nothing is personal, everything is professional."
Which is true.
I mean, everything is like that nowadays what!
Work is just work. Nothing personal.
No matter what kinda work you do, you got to take shit from your employer. Whether they're having a bad day or thats just the way they are, you still gotta take it.
If you can't take it, then quit the job lor.
But that probably wouldn't happen unless the employer goes overboard, since if you could make-do without that job you wouldn't even be doing it in the first place.
Ok back to why I kinda dislike having this maid.
An example of how frustrated I can get.
She is kinda persistent in moving my things around, even though I specifically told her not to touch certain things.
And then after she has moved my things to other fancy positions, she totally forgets where she moved them to and my things are then officially "LOST" in my own HOUSE.
Of course I go ballistic, because I really need some of these items and I TOLD HER not to touch them! If she still itchy hand everytime go move them around, then she'd better remember where she moved them, correct?
But like she always forgets and then I make her do a thorough search throughout the house looking for that thing.
I would be extremely pissed off with her, but after seeing her miserable face I kinda feel guilty, but then a part of me thinks I should not be guilty because she did her job poorly and a part of me tells me I could be alot kinder.
But this is who I am, I am not exactly the type of kind and gentle person. I can be very rough, rude, and pretty mean.
Which is why I'm finding this particularly disturbing!
A comforting thought is knowing that her working in my house is better than working in ALOT of other houses!
We don't have young children or pets or old sick people, which makes the job SO much easier. Me and my brother are young adults, we can handle everything by ourselves so all she needs to do is basic housework.
Clean the floor, wash the dishes, cook once in awhile (I dont really like home cooked food), blahblah.. basically thats just it. Nothing really very hard what.
Like housewife ma!
I feel sad for her because I know how much she's missing her family and how tough to be working like this when she is sooo young.
I mean, I never really went to talk to her about it (TOTAL COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN!) but duhhhh. Kinda obvious isn't it.
Like, she's still under 20 and leading such a hard life already.
She's kinda bad at taking instructions but if she's tried and is still bad, who can blame her? Just like me. I suck so bad at Math, it's basically impossible for me.
It's damn sad, but still not as sad as those poorer people in Africa. They don't even house jobs, don't even have food to eat..
Then how?! So many unfortunate people in this world, WHO TO HELP?
HOW to help?!???
Surely alot of preachers-wannabes are going to be like, "Help all you can, Jessica!"
WTF really hate people who preach.
Don't see them donating all their extra cash to poor people instead of buying mp3s, eating ice cream, etc?
Sometimes I feel like charity is so bloody contradicting, I don't even want to associate myself with it.
Like if I see this poor man on the streets and I take out a $10 bill, I think that $10 is really fucking pathetic when obviously I have SO MUCH MORE TO SPARE!
I know $10 would mean alot more to the man than to me, but I feel like I'm being a hypocrite so I'd rather not donate at all.
I don't want to be so bloody contradicting! Why half-fuck around?
If I REALLY decided to help poor people, I'd definitely devote my life to become a social worker or set up some foundation thingy.
But for now, I guess I'm just going to lead the life of a selfish yet privileged young girl, pretending to be unaware of the suffering outside her safe world.
It's the best way I suppose. No point thinking about such matters anymore when I'm not prepared to be Mother Theresa.
Sigh. I really dunno what am I getting to here.
I just needed a place to rant.
If I talked to my mother about this issue, she sure say "since you are so kind, you do all the housework lor!"
-___________________-
And now I just went out of my room and saw my maid writing a letter. To her family back in Indonesia, supposedly.
OMG!
Howhow? I actually saw her crying quite a few times but I don't wanna go up to her!
Maybe she feels better left alone anyway. I like to be left alone when I cry.
But like, I really cannot communicate with her because her english is really bad! Chickens and ducks don't make best friends.
And I'm kinda afraid of getting close to her, because I was so close with this one maid that when she left, I kept crying and felt like I lost something significant in my life.
I HATE the feeling of losing someone in my life, even if its just a maid I was a little close to.
I'd rather not have it at all in the first place than to have to go through the pain of losing it...
So yea, I'd like to keep a distance still.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~
Can I just have a robot instead??? One that I can totally kick around and scream at without having to feel sorry for it.
The worst part is, she's the kinda maid really gong gong one and keep doing wrong things but when she does it wrongly she (apparently) seems very SORRY about it, but then after that makes the SAME mistake again!
Then she gives you this sad saaaaaaaaaaaad look on her face.
Bah.
Poor banglas also! Every morning when I sit in my mother's car lying down feeling very relaxed, I see a lorry full of bangla workers and they're all staring at me with these sad eyes.
Especially that traffic light a few bus stops away from my school.
OK WTF from maids to banglas? I really should stop here.
ANNOYING PREACHY COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED!
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On a much lighter note, I need not fret over where to go for our Anniversary already!
James said he'd be taking me to some beach resort in Malaysia (??) which is apparently "very romantic"
HAHAHA it better be!
At first he didn't have ANY plans for our 2nd year anni lor! I asked him where he wants to go, he just shrugged -____-
But after some whining, he finally got down to it! He told me he'd plan, and told me "Don't worry dear, I'll plan everything nicely for you ok? Make this your most romantic anniversary ever. I won't let you down baby!"
Waaa I'm going to melt. How come sometimes he's so goddamn sweet, sometimes so mean and annoying ah?!
I AM SOOOOOOOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, I will take lotttts of pictures.
We will be going during my September holidays, so it will be a belated Anniversary celebration but only belated be a few days so its ok!
And right after I get back from my romance trip, we'll be going to
AVRIL LAVIGNE'S CONCERT together!
Wtf.
Total awesomeness. Life's good. I'm going to explode, I cannot wait.
Jessica is a totally lucky girl and she knows it.
KK I am going to bathe now. Jasmine and Fidelis coming over to my place tomorrow for a girls day, FUN FUN FUN! I'm skipping school. HAHA.
Oh yea I scored like pretty fantastic results for my English paper 1 prelims! Wonder how my paper 2 would be like?
I took a look at alot of courses today, I think I wanna go to Ngee Ann's Mass Comm. But the freaking cut off point is like, 11??
My bloody chinese already is a big fat 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fat hope. Nvm, hope my retake grade will be better :(
Bye for now. Can't wait to see my girlies tomorrow, I miss them like %*#!!@&$)@*$@*$!@
