You & Me

Blogger's Sweets Epi 2 from Bloggers Sweets on Vimeo.


Lololol I was bloghopping and I went to Jayden's blog and I got reminded of BLOGGER'S SWEETS!! This was like, half a year ago?!?

Anyway if you haven't seen it when I posted it up last time, you can find out more at http://www.sweets.sg



This video is superrrr funny! I keep cracking up during the part we were doing the "catwalk".

I know I look so much taller than James but if you look carefully, when we're standing the difference is not that much. But the truth is he's veryyy small size la. Doesn't help that I'm not your average short and petite Singaporean girl too. LOL.

I was sitting up very straight during the video and he was slouching in a corner like some little mouse.

And he's not even that shy real life!!! He's always full of crap and bullying me, yet in the video he seems so... softspoken? Bleh. If anyone who knows James sees this video, they would know what I'm talking about lor!! ULTIMATE PRETENSEEEEE.


I remember I was like, "You see la! You almost never talk at all in the video lor!"

And he was like, "GOTTTT. Just when I opened my mouth to talk, they had to insert some music to shut me up. =("


LOL. He was referring to the ending part of the video. Damn funnnnyyyyy plz. Must watch to know what I'm talking about.




Anywaysss... He came to look for me yesterday, before he went into camp. And he passed me this puzzle, with our picture on it.





A puzzle because... you complete me. Take away one tiny piece and my life would be incomplete without you.



He told me he's very sorry and that he would like to go out with me to buy a nice frame for this puzzle to hang it up in my room when he books out 2 weeks later.

Why do I feel that he only treasures me when he's on the verge of completely losing me?!?!



Perhaps most guys are like that la. WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN? Hopefully army will toughen him up and perhaps knock some sense and maturity into him. Silly boy.




Nonetheless, it felt very good to hug him yesterday and I love rubbing his botak head!!!

Indeed, I laughed at his funny botak head like I said I would in my "When I Think Of You" post.


...And everything that I knew would happen, has happened / is going to happen.

When I Think Of You

When I Think Of You


...I feel happy.




Because you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.

Because I remember all the great times we've had.

Because I think of your cheeky smile and that alone brings a smile to my face.

Because I can't wait for the next time I see you again, so I can laugh at your botak head.

Because you complete me.




...Because love can make a person happy.

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When I Think Of You


...I feel nostalgic.




Because I've been away from you baby, for far too long.

Because I miss you and your silly antics, terribly.

Because I miss your hugs, your kisses, your touch and even your gross burps and farts.

Because you were the only thing that has ever meant so much to me in my life.




...Because love makes living without your other half almost impossible.


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When I Think Of You


...I feel sad.




Because of the way we are now, because I need you here with me now.

Because you disappointed me.

Because I don't understand why two people in love can have so much problems being together.

Because I tried so hard to make this work.

Because even having tried so hard, I still gave it all up by saying two wrong words.

Because it gets really lonely at night without having you right by my side.




...Because love can make a person sad.



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When I Think Of You


...I feel reassured.




Because I know that you are thinking of me too.

Because the thought of you gives me the strength to carry on.

Because I know that you are going to make things right in the end.

Because thinking about you seems to be the most sane and lovely thing to do, with so much unpleasant drama going on in my life right now.




...Because love makes you feel so many different emotions.



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Because... I Love You.

Canon Powershot E1 Online Scrapbook

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VOTE FOR "UNDERAGE-GIRL" AT:

www.nuffnang.com.sg/canon-3 -


There's a glitch. If Firefox doesn't work, try Internet Explorer.

When signing up, click "SUBMIT" , and remember to VERIFY your email.




You get to win cool prizes like the Canon Powershot E1 itself!




Also, if you vote for me I promise to come to your dreams tonight and french kiss you. Muackszxzxsszz.

And if you DON'T vote for me... cockroaches will crawl into your backside at night and lay eggs there. *whistles*



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Introducing the new Canon Powershot E1

Taking pictures has never been this fun!




When Jessica leaves the house, she's out of the way...

Then it's time for her plushies to come out and play!!!

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The new Canon Powershot E1 has 10 megapixels -

Images are amazingly sharp and natural, even the finest details are clear!









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Get to the ideal shooting distance without having to move, Canon Powershot E1 has 4x zoom!
The image stabilizer also keeps telephoto shots sharp and steady.







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The face detection technology
focuses on many faces within a frame
and prevents darkened and overexposed faces..

capturing the cutest faces perfectly!






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The Face Detection technology also evaluates face color when adjusting white balance so skin tones are perfect.





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Canon Powershot has this cool and handy
Red Eye Correction
function that eliminates red-eye effect that sometimes occurs when using the flash.

You can correct this when reviewing your images!



***Before Red-Eye Correction***








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After Red-Eye Correction




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Say bye-bye to fuzzy / blurry pictures because with Canon Powershot E1's

Motion Detection Technology,

this smart camera analyzes "motion information" to determine whether the camera is moving and automatically adjusts to eliminate blur!


...Get your very own Canon Powershot E1 because taking pictures of fast-moving objects is a breeze.

Like for Formula 1!!! HAHAHA







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The following TWO pictures were taken with a different and older camera, different brand from Canon.
The purpose of this is to show you how clear and crisp the pictures taken by Canon Powershot E1 are, as compared to the following two...

Just so you know that with Canon, it's really quality.


People think that cameras are all the same, but just compare the following TWO pictures for yourself - you'd see that they have less vibrant colours and obvious pixelation... (even after editing!!)



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What I love about the Canon Powershot E1 is that it is so cute and easy to use! With it's

Easy Mode - Don't think, just shoot.. then play back!


The easiest possible way to take great photos.








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I love having my pictures printed on the spot - and that doesn't mean old-fashioned polariods!


Connect your Canon Powershot E1

to any PictBridge & Canon Direct printer


and have your photos out in a jiffy!!! You don't even need to use a computer.










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I guess the Canon Powershot E1 is just too cutesy for my plushies to resist!

It's almost like a toy camera, except for it's superior quality and intelligence.




I just have to say....






I LOVE THE NEW CANON POWERSHOT E1 ~!!!








For those of you who have always found digital cameras too "complex" and "geeky" for you to know how to use them, try the new Canon Powershot E1


..And be amazed at how taking beautiful pictures with a stylish and cute camera can be so effortless and easy.





Other cool links: 1. www.nuffnang.com.sg/canon-e1 (product micro site)




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Sooo... you know what to do!


www.nuffnang.com.sg/canon-3




We all know who's going to win o___o;
But if you love me, vote for me anyway!


If you keep getting "login error", you're clicking on the wrong button. Just click "submit" below the fields.


*Replies to some comments about my entry:

I know my entry is pretty short, but at least it's completely relevant. LOL

I'm not gonna put up 123456 pics of myself and pass them off as a CUTE "scrapbook", tyvm!

SOFT TOYS FTW!!!


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First dance as a married couple

AHAHAHAA OMG THIS IS THE BEST WEDDING DANCE EVER.

Love.. how could I ever comprehend?

I went downstairs for awhile in the noon..

And I sat at the place we used to sit and talk every other afternoon you'd drop by.


I didn't know who you were then, but I was eager to lap it all up, every single tiny detail I learned about you through our conversations. I was dying to know you.


Wondering who you are.





Fastforward 2 years plus, there I am again,


...Sitting at the same place we used to sit..

Wondering who you are.








As I sat there alone rocking in the chair watching happy children play in the pool, I thought about the times you made me feel like I was a kid all over again.

You've taught me so many things in life.






But most importantly, you've shown me how to love...

The happiness... and the pain that comes along with it.


I've cried for you like I've never cried before. When physical pain is completely absent and all you feel is whats left of your heart being slowly but very painfully torn apart.





I wonder why it is always like this.

Whenever we take a break from each other, I find myself thinking of the good old times.. Happy things. But before that, I was so focused on the negatives.



And then when I watched TV yesterday, I heard this quote which greatly enlightens me:



"Because at the end.. You think of the beginning."






And it's true. When I watched you leave my house that day, I also pictured the first time you came. Sneaking you in and hiding you here and there without anyone noticing was really fun.

And then before I knew it, tons of memories fill my mind.




Like they do every night.



A fool I am, mourning over you as if you were dead, when I was the one who wanted to break up. But you know very well I didn't exactly WANTED to break up.


I just thought that I'm too young to be crying this hard for a man. A man who didn't understand me. To be sacrificing this much.
To be taking all the bullshit you throw at me at times.



Because if I'd gritted my teeth and continued to keep giving in, you would go into army and then I knew I wouldn't have the heart to walk away.

I didn't want you to think I'm abandoning you just because you have to serve National Service.


That's dumb. It's just so much more than that.






You never understood how I felt. That's always been the problem.

The sad part is,

You can't MAKE someone understand.. they either do, or don't.



For more than 2 years I have continuously told myself that the day would come.

Now I'm just not convinced the day would be soon... Perhaps you may call this selfish. But I want to spare you the heartbreak, tears and the quarrels as well. I want you to be happy.




No matter how mature I am for my age, there are still many things I do not know and fail to understand.


Even some people who have walked the entire journey of life still did not understand love while on their death bed, who am I to try understand such a complex thing?





All I know about love right now..



Is the way you make me feel. The way I've sacrificed so much for you that no one's ever known. The way I can't get to sleep at night without knowing you're safe and sound. The way my heart lights up like a freaking inferno everything you plant your lips against mine.


Most people think this is puppy love.. But they have no idea just how much you mean to me.

I do not deny that I am young and perhaps still immature and inexperienced.



I lack the maturity and grace of a woman who've seen the things I haven't.



Which is why I have to walk away right now. Because I just don't know how to deal with it. It's so fucking hard to understand. I'm just not strong enough.

Neither are you.

You obviously cannot fulfill what you've promised... otherwise, things wouldn't be how they are now.


And most good wives/girlfriends would understand and wait for their lover or something. But..

I cannot be the one who will accept such behaviour from you... Simply because I'm just not that kinda girl.


It just doesn't feel right?




My personality... I'm really strong. I don't take any bullshit from anyone. Sure, I do cry often, but I always wipe away my tears and grit my teeth and put up a fight. Even my dearest friends, whom I love very much, I gave them up because I felt we were too different and that they would never be able to accept our differences.


But with you, I cry... and I don't stop crying.


What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry?




Give me time, and hopefully I will learn.


I want to be the best girlfriend I could ever be for you, and I just don't think I fit the bill right now. Likewise, I feel that there are alot of things for you to think about.





You are my weakness.

With love comes jealousy, possessiveness..

But with jealousy and possessiveness should also come a certain sort of understanding and patience..




Which I think I can really improve on.

And I think you too, need some time alone to reflect on your doings and our relationship and hopefully come to your senses. To truly be that man I know you can be.



There are so many things I wish to say to you.. But perhaps now is not the right time. And this is obviously not the place to let out everything.


Our love goes on...



THIS IS NOT THE ABSOLUTE END YET. We promised each other we'd give us both time to think things through.

And I will be seeing him again soon (hopefully)





When we see each other again.. we'll see how things work out. We both need a breather. I need to give him time to miss me, LOL.



Just how long would this break last, I don't know. Months? Years?



Whatever it is.. I miss you every second, every minute and everyday.


I pray for the strength to get through these nights alone, without you by my side.








I look forward to the day we will embrace again. Or even the day I'd hear that charming, deep, voice of yours.. That was the soundtrack of my life's best summer.


It feels crazy and meaningless to wake up each day being apart from you, so crazy indeed...

Sometimes I wish I had a more "stable" relationship.





But it's this kind of love that makes people feel alive - the kind of love you never thought you'd do such crazy things for.



Empty as life may seem, I sure do feel alive right now alright. Alive only because a dead man couldn't feel this much pain inside.

the o'levels are here!!

THANK YOU to everyone who gave me encouragement and "good luck" for my o's!


Most O'level students would be taking their Science Paper tomorrow..


But not me!

I dropped Science, hehehe. You have NO idea how relieved I am just cos I don't have to study for TWO crazy subjects that I suck in (physics and chemistry) for the marks of ONE.


It makes a hell lot of sense to drop it. Besides, the courses that I want to get into don't require science. If I DON'T get into the course I want, then I'd be going overseas to study or take private or something.

The courses I want require a good grade for english and their basic subjects req. is humanities + math.





Damnit!

I suck soooooooooo bad at math. But that's not too bad, considering since out of English, Chinese, Social Studies, Literature, Math and Pure Geography,

Math is the one I suck at most. I think even my chinese is better than my math.



My chinese was a whopping SIX points. *rolls eyes*


..Now you know how bad my math is. So yea, chinese can't be helped cos you need a strong foundation. I'm good in english, so I don't have crazy expectations for myself and expect to score well for chinese too.



WHY THE HELL CAN'T WE TAKE HIGHER ENGLISH BUT WE HAVE HIGH CHINESE? Would be something refreshing and interesting. Would be a challenge for me.


Then I won't have to keep falling asleep in English lessons.


Granted, my grasp of the English language is not exactly FANTASTIC but I believe that they should really raise the standard of English lessons!




I don't think I've learnt anything from those damn lessons!!! English is really easy to score DECENTLY for, just read lots and lots of book and converse with angmohs.



I'M SERIOUS! I was a real geek in Primary School, so when my classmates were out racing toy cars and playing yoyo,

I was on the internet 24/7 chatting on internet forums with angmohs. And I was so addicted to books, I would stay up till like 4am reading with minimal light, which explains my sad eyesight right now.




So, coming from a non-biased point of view, english is a hell lot easier to pass than chinese.

Chinese has all these WEIRD characters!! Even if I don't know how to spell a word I've never heard before, I can roughly guess by listening to the characters.


But like Chinese... you never know what sort of funky eccentric drawing you're going to get. It's crazy. And chinese just sounds cheesy. I don't understand French, but it sounds really.. well.. makes the person speaking it sound cool.

Chinese just makes the person very ching chong, y'know?



Ok I'm probably ranting too much.

So tomorrow I'm going to stay home and read english books all day. Yipee! Totally looking forward to it.

I already know what I'm going to read - The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks.



OMG!!! Reading inspiring novels help improve your composition writing skills alot because you get influenced and inspired by the book you've just read. You pick up a lil of their literary techniques here and there, you remember cool quotes you've read... Etc.







I am so looking forward to my English paper!!! :)

I am so NOT looking forward to my MATHEMATICS PAPER!!!!





I know this has been a very wordy post and my blog has been pretty boring lately, but I'm TAKING MY O'LEVELS, ok?!?!


Even though I'm not even doing like 1/4 of the revision I SHOULD BE DOING, I should at least update less frequently and talk about studies all the time.. to show people I'm kinda concerned about the O'levels?


I'm concerned, but that doesn't mean I'm CRAZY over it.




It is sooooooooooo fucking annoying when ALL PEOPLE EVER SAY TO ME IS, "scared of o levels? hows revision for o levels? o levels o levels o levels"



GAH!!!!!!!!! Get over it already, fools!!!






I'm the one taking it, NOT YOU, thank you very much.

If you ARE taking it, then shouldn't you be studying? Tsk tsk.






People in Singapore are WAY too obsessed with education and certificates & all that jazz.

Sure, having good O'level grades will come in handy while looking for jobs concerning office work and all but...




IT WON'T GUARANTEE ME A DAMN THING IN LIFE!



Will it 100% make me lots of money? NO.

Will it 100% make me happy? NO.

Will it 100% make me successful in life? NO.





Sure, it'll help, but it's not such a big deal as you people make it out to be.

I'm saying this to let people know that I am CONCERNED for my grades, but being concerned doesn't mean being FUCKING OBSESSED AND PARANOID over it like everyone else.

Except Isaac. Isaacluvhisass. LOL. He's damn funny! I think he's also taking O's this year.





Ok nvm. I know I am very boring la, keep ranting on & on.. I haven't been going out much lately so don't have much pics to post.


So.. I suppose you are going to have to make-do with random pics that were taken in the past but I've never exactly posted them up?






Jumbo's crabs.

BEST crabs I've ever had! JUMBO has BIG FAT JUICY FRESH CRABS!!!!


..But very expensive also. 40++ for one GOOD BIG YUMMY CRAB!


I dunno why I like crab also lor. So pointless but tastes so good.















I am an internet whore.

I will sit my ass in front of the computer the whole day even if I don't have ANYTHING to do on it. It's just always been this way.

My life will be VERY SAD without the internet.















Uh. Camwhoring before going for a shoot at SAFRA club.

I took a cab from Simei to SAFRA @ telok blangah and omfgggggggggggggggggg the cab fare was 30++


With peak hour surcharges.. But still! Fucking rip off I tell you. I think I'm going to switch back to trains soon.















Tah. Camwhoring again.

My room is always so effing messy thank god I've a maid. Godsent, they are. Invented for lazy people like me who pretend to be too busy to do housework.















Camwhoring yet again. Btw I did not wear the same outfit, this was taken on the same day as the one 2 pics above.

Yes I know my teeth are yellowish. I think I have a great smile but I think my teeth are gross too, which is why I'm going for teeth whitening after me O's. Feel happy for me!!!





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Ok la since I have been sooo effin boring recently, here are some interesting pics for you to gawk at my ugliness.





Sometime last year. Funny huh. LOL.

Totally hilarious, like some china girl's hair. Fireworks perm, they call it? I had soo little hair then!



Everyone has been asking me why my perm's so lasting.. (I last permed my hair more than A YEAR ago! The curls are FINALLY fading now..)

Obviously they have not seen the picture above. Check it out, baby.



Unless you want your hair to be like THAT, stop asking me!! It took effing long for the curls to loosen up and look good.


So irritating. Honestly, I don't think where you perm your hair really matters, as long as you go to a reputable salon like Jean Yip or Kimage or Hair Secrets or Toni & Guy or whatever.












AND THIS... EVEN FUNNIER!!!





HHAHAHAHAA OMG LOOK AT ME I WAS SO UGLY!!!



Things that are soooooooo wrong in this picture:

THE HAIR OMG LOOK AT THE AH LIAN HAIR HAHAHAA *clutches tummy and rolls on floor*

Soooooooo ugly please. If I ever have straight hair again, it will NEVER be thin! As thick as possible.



And omg look at the ah lian make up too!! Why did I look so lian ah?? Stupid bling bling eyelashes.


Bling bling falsies are the most HIDEOUS ever, I tell you. Especially those with stars on them. Go kill yourself if you're wearing them.


Anddddddddddd that crazy silver shimmery eyeliner thing under the eye.


Another tell-tale sign of an ahlian.





AND THE HOOP EARRINGS.

Omg you have no idea how fucking ugly silver hoop earrings are!!! Those are sooooooo out of fashion I dunno why people are still wearing it. The minahs love it.

It used to be fashionable in like, what, 2002?




I dunno what I was wearing also lor. Ok I think I know.

A red polly pocket top and a tee inside. Super act cute. No good for big sized girls like me.


I hate red! Cos I think pink lips and red outfits are so mismatching. I would wear red lipstick if I wore a red outfit. And you don't see normal people wearing red lipstick out often in the day, which is why you hardly see me in red.


Red with pink / orange / yellow = ugly ugly ugly.


Kkkk I think I can stop elaborating on how ugly the pic is cos you guys can see for yourselves.










Anyway thank god my style changed...





Something more sophisticated.

OK PLS EXCUSE THE WIDE EYED EXPRESSION AND SLUTTY POSE.



Can I redeem myself by stating that this pic was taken wayyyyyyy back?


Anyway ya, I think I look awful in thick make up and I suit lighter make up. Just light eye make up to accentuate my eyes, a lil blusher and lipstick and not forgetting drawing the brows and I'm good to go.


Remind me never to put on thick make up again.








Alright I am bored of blogging.

Blogging is super boring nowadays leh. What do you guys wanna read about?



BYE!

Yesterday

Yesterday...


All my troubles seemed so far away

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Now it looks as though they're here to stay.

Oh, I believe in yesterday








Suddenly, I'm not half the person I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh, yesterday came suddenly

Why he had to go I don't know, he wouldn't stay... 

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday. 

Yesterday..

Love was such an easy game to play

..Now I need a place to hide away.







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I think you can stop checking my blog for updates for the next few days.

dot dot dot

Not in the mood to blog or talk or update recently as you can probably tell.

I am sooooooo pissed off with idiots recently.


I'll just learn to forgive + forget. At the end of the day, I'm still the one who is the most righteous and has the most dignity.



Where do I find the grace to forgive what they've done to me? I wonder...







Thanks for all the concern some of you have shown, it's really very sweet =)

And those who think this is a good time to try flaming me, all I can say is try harder...




Anyways!!!

Enough of sad soppy stuff.



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EVERYONE LOVES JOKES!!


Some funny ones I found through the internet:












TO ALL MY DRINKING BUDDIES:

I just read an article on the dangers of drinking....

Scared the shit out of me!

So that's it!

After today, no more reading.

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I rear ended a car this morning...the driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
That's how the fight started.





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He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...
Like his mother used to do.



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1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

5) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.






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One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to ask his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action.
"Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?"

"Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonder Woman is the best sex in Comicland. Why don't you try her?" replied Batman.

"I'd love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don't really want to take advantage of her."

"Damn shame," said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off.

Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the Green Lantern patching up a building. He flew down.

"Hey GL, I'm looking for a little action. You're a swinging bachelor, who's the best babe in Comicland?"

"Hey, Superman! Everyone knows that Wonder Woman is far and away the best lay in Comicland, why don't you try her?"

"Well, we're sort of friends," Superman said, "but I didn't realize she had gotten around so much" and he flew off in frustration.

Twenty minutes later Superman was flying over a field when he saw Wonder Woman lying naked, in the middle of the field, with her legs apart and up in the air. Superman was tempted. He thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of there before she even knows I'm here."

So with a blur and a sonic boom he was down, in and gone. Wonder Woman stared up into the sky with a dazed __expression. "What the hell was that??" she exclaimed.

"I don't know," said the Invisible Man as he rolled off, "but my ass is killing me




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President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
The guy says, "Really. What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaims, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?
Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you. No one gives a shit about the 140 million Muslims."





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(Written to a woman who accidentally walked into a men's restroom...)

Please don't feel bad, lady. It wasn't you entering the men's washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the time. It's rare for us guys to ever hit what we're aiming for. Sometimes I go into the washroom, start to pee, and then just start spinning around; just so I'll make sure I hit something.

You see, something you ladies should understand by now is that men's penises have a mind of their own. A guy can go into a bathroom stall because all the urinals are being used, take perfect aim at the toilet, and his penis will still manage to pee all over the roll of toilet paper, down his left pant leg, and onto his shoe. I'm telling ya those little buggers can't be trusted.

After being married 28 years my wife has me trained. I'm no longer allowed to pee like a man, standing up. I am required to sit down and pee. She has convinced me that this is a small price to pay. Otherwise if she had gone to the toilet one more time at night and either sat on a pee soaked toilet seat, or fell right into the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down, she was going to kill me in my sleep.

Now another thing us guys don't usually like to talk about, but because you and I have become such good friends and you think I'm a classy guy, I might as well be candid with you because it's a real problem, and you ladies need to be understanding. It's the dreaded "morning wood."

Most mornings us guys wake up with two things. A tremendous desire to pee, and a penis so hard you could cut diamonds with it. Well, no matter how hard you try, you can't get that thing to bend, and if it don't bend you can't aim, well hell, if you can't aim you have no choice but to pee all over the wallpaper and that damn fuzzy toilet seat cover you women insist on putting on the toilet.

And by the way, when you use those damn fuzzy toilet seat covers, the friggin' toilet seat won't stay up by itself. So that means we have to use one hand to hold up the toilet seat and the other hand to try to control ourselves for that perfect aim.

Now sometimes, when you're newly married, (and I know the guys in here will back me up on this) you think you can get the toilet seat with that damn fuzzy thing to stay up. You jam it back and compress that fuzzy thing until the seat stays there. OK, so you start to pee, but then that compressed fuzzy starts to decompress and without warning that damn toilet seat comes flying down and tries to whack off your weenie.

So us guys will not lift a toilet seat with a fuzzy, it's just not safe. I tried to delicately explain this morning situation to my wife. I told her look, it won't bend. She said, "Sit down like I told you to do all the rest of the time." OK. I tried sitting down on the toilet with "morning wood."

Well, it's very hard to get it bent under the toilet seat, and before I could manage it, I had peed all over the bath towels hanging on the wall across the room. Now, even if you are sitting down and you can get it forced down under the toilet seat, when you start to pee the pee shoots out from the crack between the bottom of the toilet seat and the top of the bowl. You pee all over the back of your knees and it runs down the back of our legs on to that damn matching fuzzy horseshoe rug you keep putting on the floor in front of the toilet.

I have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this morning urinary dilemma is to assume the flying superman position laying over the toilet seat.

This takes a great deal of practice, perfect balance, and split time precision but it's the only sure way to get all the pee in the bowl during the first morning pee.

So you ladies have to understand that us men are not totally to blame. We are sensitive to your concerns about hygiene and bathroom cleanliness, but there are times when things just get beyond our control.

It's not our fault, it's just Mother Nature.

Now, if it was Father Nature, there wouldn't have been a problem!






--------------------------------







A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."


"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."






-----------------------------------







Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were very faithful
and loving wives.. however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the
Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk &walking home they needed to pee, so
they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her
panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair
of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat
down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she
proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they
proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally
sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other
husband and said "These damn girl nights have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect
the worst.. my wife came home with no panties! Oh my God I'll kill the son
of a bitch!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck
between the crack of her ass that said "From all of us at the Fire Station.
We'll never forget you."





----------------------------------------







In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly.
"Well," she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say... I would like it infrequently."

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked .. "Is that one word or two words?





--------------------------------------







This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He happened to look down the bar and see a man sitting there with a head the size of a cue ball. So he walked down and said to the man, "Excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude but I noticed you have a small head. Is this a birth defect?" The man said "No, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the German's in W.W.II. I was the only survivor on the ship. So I swam to shore. One day a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish I wanted to return to Canada. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid. She said, 'I can't grant that wish because mermaids can't have sex.'" So I said, "How about a little head?






----------------------------------




HAHAHAHA!

Some may be a lil offensive/dirty but they sure made me giggle and smile.

My life is full of ups.. and downs.

My life is full of ups and downs.. Today's one of those days when things aren't going right

And there's no one here to wipe away my tears tonight..

But I know that in the end, I am gonna be alright

Cuz no matter what happens, I'll make damn sure that I put up a fight

Whoever knew I could be in such a sorry plight?

.
.
.

I think I may, I think I might

Cry my heart out and be completely depressed.. but like I said, in the end

EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT!!!!!



--------------------------




Gonna smile cuz I deserve to. *repeatedly sings "Better In Time" to self*


xoxo,
Jess

Happy girl is me

Hey hey hey.

Alright.. now let me hear you say HEY HEY HO!



Oops.

I'm just too damn addicted to Avril Lavigne.
I JUST DON'T GET IT?!?

I love her to deathhh that I could marry her, but I've never ever worshipped any other celebrity like I worship her.

Notice how I used the word "worship" instead of "idolize"?





Ok ok back to MY life.

I have been trying to study recently, as you all know.. Truth to be told, not exactly going fantastic BUT! I am having MATH TUITION TOMORROW.

*flips hair*

Now I am 1000x less guilty.





People ask me whether I'm worried for my O's or not..

The truth is. Not really.

Except for my Math. *crosses fingers*



Why worry? I have confidence in my other subjects.

Even if I don't do all that well, doesn't really matter la. It's not as though if I score well I am going to JC and then after that Uni and then after that go slog my life away doing some accountacy/banking job for smartasses, right?!?



No way nowaaaayyyyy hosay.




...............



I live and die by my own rules.




Most likely, after my O's I'm going overseas to live. Somehow I shall find a way to convince The Mummy to bring me over.




Life is too stressful in Singapore to live here forever, trust me.





ANYWAY!!!!

You guys have been really sweet to me recently, and I am very happy!

It is so nice to receive lil encouraging / sweet messages left by you all.


I don't need to be stick thin (GROSS PLZ!) or super popular or super gorgeous/amazing/etc because I know some of you will love me just the way I am! Hehehe.


I really adore how I can really connect with you guys. Well, some of you anyway.



It's awesome when you guys send me sweet e-mails.
It's awesome when you guys compliment me. (HAHAHA of cos la why not man?!?)
It's awesome when you guys show me support.




YOU GUYS ARE JUST AWESOME!!! So so glad that a good number of my blog readers are actually LITERATE, y'know? *cough*



Kkkk Anyway!

Some of you have been calling me "happy girl" recently.



REALLY?!?!

Do I sound that happy with my life?

Because my life is not 100% perfect, there are occasions recently where I felt like I could stab someone again and again until they finally bleed to death.



BUT!!!

It is damn good that I sound happy!


Because, yeah, I AM HAPPY! I don't know why also lor, when my O's are so near and when nothing particularly happiness-inducing is happening in my life.


But I am happy because I am happy. "Jessica, you don't make sense!!"



There's just to warm snuggly feeling deep down inside that you know that you are contented with your life.


I HAVE FINALLY MASTERED THE ARTS OF "looking on the bright side"


OMG.


Which is good for me, and also good for you because I am happy and EVERYONE LIKES HAPPY PEOPLE and happiness is influential so in time to come, read more of my blog and you will be happy too!

Yay!




*BIG WIDE SMILE*




...Sorry la, late already, 1 am!! Brain pretty fried.






---------------------------------------





Yayyyyyyyyyy I'm dedicating this part of my post to Fidelis.




I totally love to hang out with her. I like having double dates with Leon and James also!














Friends come and go.

I'm glad this adorableee one has waltzed into my life!














FOOOOOOOOOOOOOODIEEEEEEEEEEEe.


We had Tofu with Mushrooms & Minced Meat, Seafood Phad Thai, Tom Yum Prawn Soup (thank you chris who did the dirt job of plucking all the prawn shells for us! hehe),

Fried Rice, Baked Honey Pork Ribs, Mango Sticky Rice...



*salivates*

I have eaten at ALOT of different restaurants in Singapore, so you can take my word for it when I say...

Thai Accent (vivo city) has

THE FUCKENINGDOODOO BEST THAI FOOD EVER.







Their Mango Sticky Rice is teh shiz

The mango is cool, very fresh, has a very smooth texture, not too sweet, extremely juicy and tender..

The sticky rice is warm, and well.. Sticky! Very very tasty. PLUS, they have got the BEST coconut sauce EVER EVER EVER infinity and beyond!!!!!


OMG YOU GUYS JUST DON'T GET HOW YUMMY IT IS. HAHAHAHA


Gotta try to know it. Fidelis and Chris and Nadia and Mummy and pretty much EVERYONE I've ever recommended it to loved it to bits!!!!!




P.S - I also recommend Sticky Rice (next to taxi stand, entrance!) at Ang Mo Kio Hub.

HAVE to try their green curry noodles. FTW! But don't try their sticky rice lor. Like shit.

Dunno why they name their shop after a dish they are so bad at preparing.















About everyone who walked pass me that day were staring at my fishnet tights.

EH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM?!?!


Just because 90% of Singaporeans all dress the same doesn't mean I can't have my own style, right?

Btw I think fishnet tights get chikopeks high lor. You shoulda seen the way they were staring at me.







Kinda candid.

This is CHRIS! aka my prawn plucker. aka my personal di artist. hehehehe.
















Looooooooooove.




.

.
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.
.
.
.
.



Ok and to end this post with a blast...



What would me and James' baby look like? Hmm..




This is James. HAHAHA ok this pic is sooo fucking hilarious pls. Like a mug shot.

Where got people take pic expression like that one. Head so straight some more! I didn't even ask him to pose like this.




...Are you ready for it?

.




.






.






.






.



.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

HAHAHAHAHA! Wtf. Priceless.

Can you see my facial features in our "Baby"?!? And James' features too?

Can you can you can youuuuuuuu?




James totally freaked out when he saw this!!!





xoxo,
Jess

for the ones who think i'm FAT! =)

O level revision begins.. + Bridal Shoot

Good news...

.

.


.


.

I HAVE FINALLY STARTED REVISING FOR MY O'LEVELS! WOOHOO.


Only about 2 hours a day though. LOL.

The reason why I started so late is because I can never get studying done until I feel a sense of urgency.

And I definitely feel it now alright!

.



.



.

Anywayysss... Bridal shoot photos!!




Btw, I edited the photos myself! The lightings, cropping, effects and all. Was pretty bored the other night. I didn't touch my face or my body though, cus I don't have photoshop (wish I had), used photobucket image editing program.



Some photos are overexposed on purpose. Some cannot be saved, original pic too overexposed liao.

Will post a few for now, others for next time! Hopefully will be better.











































Good luck Jessica, may your brain not get fried due to intensive studying!




xoxo,
Jess

Graduation Ceremony 2008

It's official.

Graduation Ceremony 2008 ended a couple of hours ago.



I have graduated from Holy Innocents' High School......

Couldn't stop the tears welling up as I sang my school creed and school song for the last time.


Won't ever hear those songs again. Songs that I used to find too cheesy to sing, I sang with emotion just now.


The first thing that touched my heart about this school is the way everyone is so united and the way everyone cares for each other.



So many people in HIHS have touched my lives more than they know.





As they gave out awards for Student Of The Year, and Top Students award and all that fancy jazz...

I couldn't help but wonder to myself, "If I had really put in the effort, could I achieve as much as them?"



Hearing all about their wonderful academic achievements just made me embarrassed of my own.

My overall attendance was like 50% or something.




I don't know. I was never the popular school girl. I don't know alot of people in my school.

I was never the teacher's pet, or the goody-two-shoes student...



I was never really significant in my school. Except maybe to a few people. People I'm thankful to have met.



Still, I am grateful to have been part of this experience... To spend 4 years of my life in Holy Innocents High School attaining my Secondary School education.





How could I ever put these feelings into words? For those who have graduated.. I think you know what I mean.

It's crazy...



Crazy to know I will never see these familiar faces in class again.

Suddenly, I miss that comfortable feeling of falling asleep on my classroom desk..


I miss the teachers' rantings.



I miss everything,

though it all ended not too long ago.




Emo emo emo emo emo I am sooooooooooo fucking emo, yes I am.

Can you blame me though?






I drew this on my class whiteboard on the last day of school.

Last day of school?

....Sigh.


I remember the first day of school... Secondary 1 Orientation. I felt so lost, without friends, I knew nobody.



But as I left the school today, I see a sea of familiar faces and my super adorable classmates.

Too many memories... Too precious.



It's times like these I wish I had a camera man following me all my life, capturing priceless moments so that I can keep the photos as memories.

I'm just so damn afraid that my memory would fail me and that I would slowly forget the joy and warmth I've felt in this school.


I never want to forget this.



.
.
.
.
.
.


Like everyone says, Secondary School Days are the best days of your life...





RAMBUTAN!!!!!!!

Mr.Tan, my form teacher.















Teaching my teacher a lesson.















Wan... And Jia Min.

BUDDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!















Gambling with Style.

Gambling with Calculators.


Do they look like O'level students to you? HAHA!!!!

People tell me that I would feel the stress when O'levels are near... But look at the picture above and you would understand why I don't.















HAHAHA CLASSIC!

Charging our stuff in class. Free electricity!
















Oh, nothing much... just the usual daily craziness that happens in 4 charity.














Hui Yu, Jessica, Jia Min, Joanne, Jasmine...

The most crazy girls of 4charity'08.














Bunch of girls and 1 lucky silly billy. HEHEHEHE.

OMG LOOK AT ME I'M SO TALL LMAO

















Yeah babyyyy...


Charity.

How I will miss you so.




NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD CRY LIKE THIS

WHEN MY DAYS OF A HIHS STUDENT COMES TO AN END

WHEN I WAS ALWAYS WISHING TIME WOULD PASS FASTER

WHEN I USED TO BE IN CLASS









I bid goodbye to one of the most important phases of my life with a broken heart filled with countless precious memories.