KITTEH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eeeee I've always wanted a little puppy for a pet, but now I want a
KITTEH!!!!!!

Soooooooooooooo cute ^__________________^






Pic credits to http://icanhascheezburger.com/




Smiling kitteh waiting to be pet!










HAHAHAHA









Hehe










LOLZ, I love how cats can have very different expressions, some super duper cute and spastic!!!







Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! I WANT ONE NOW!!!!









Awwwwwwww!










HAHAHAHA FAT KITTEH chasing flying mouse









XD









And my fav of the lot!!! So cute, you can die of cute overload!!



Squeeeeeeeeeee!!!!


Have you ever seen ANYTHING cuter???









And last picture of the lot...




HAHAHAH Bob. Gotta love squirrels and their giant fluffy tails too! :)

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Life has been all fine and dandy recently, my last day of school was yesterday, HURRAH!!!!

For Term 1 at least. Plusplusplus, My deferral request got approved!! WOOPIE-DOODILY-DOO!!!


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My next term begins Feb 22 :)


So once I'm over with my exams next next week, I get a long holiday (mega awesome) then finish Term 2 and off I go to Melbourne to stay!


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Oh yeah and I've played Left 4 Dead TWO already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





The demo version at least, coz Sam pre-ordered it for me! How jealous are you?!?!? :P


I've seen most of the new features, all the characters and mob look completely different now... I prefer the old graphics better, but oh well, I assume Versus will be alot more fun to play Infected with the new mobs that we can play with!



I really like the melee weapons!


Extremely useful for hordes and when you just can't right click fast enough.


And the witch actually walks around now, instead of crying in a corner! They have new mobs called Jockey, Spitter and Charger..

They're damn ugly and freaky lol.




And I'll miss the old characters a lot, they're so much more likeable and funny!

"WHO'S YOUR DADDY? WHO'S YOUR MOMMA?!?!" - Louis ahahahahaha.





Oh well shan't spoil too much for you, you find out the rest yourself!



I'm off to take a nap before waking up for more L4D and to book more Forida/Orlando tours.


Thank god it's SATURDAY!



xoxo,
Jess

some things money can't buy

A conversation I had with someone a long time ago suddenly popped into my head.

I was telling him over dinner one day, about this quote I really liked which I read on the internet.




"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it."





And I forgot what I said next, but it was something along the lines of "perhaps working so hard or being rich isn't that great afterall... like they say, money can't buy you happiness anyway", and he said something that hit me really hard afterward.




He said, "Oh, that's where you're wrong Jess. The people who came up with THAT quote were people who weren't making a lot of money themselves. When you make as much money as I do, trust me - you'll be VERY happy."




This was coming from a multi-millionaire, his name I shall not disclose, but I know him well enough to know he wasn't pulling all this shit from his backside.



I was speaking to someone worked hard and became successful and rich. And I wondered, for just a second - can a whole lot of money really buy you happiness?






Is it the sheer amount of dollar signs you have in your bank account that you derive satisfaction from, or is it knowing that you have surpassed normality and achieved greater results than others?


But then I took a look at him and I quickly dismissed that thought.


He didn't seem like a truly happy man to me.

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Yes, I'm sure becoming rich and successful can be very rewarding indeed, but it certainly isn't enough to make someone happy.. for the most valuable things in life are things you can't buy.


Money can't buy you love, happiness and knowledge...





You can pay a woman to keep you company, but how are you going to sleep well at night knowing she's only after your money?

You can treat yourself to extravagant holidays and get the best of everything, but who are you going to share these things in life with?

You can be rich and successful in terms of business, but that doesn't mean you still won't end up failing at life.




Because, in my humble opinion, the greatest failure in life is not the man with an empty stomach who couldn't earn enough money to keep it stomach filled.

It is the man with the empty heart who couldn't find enough love to give and to receive even with all that money he's earned.





People say, "you can never have too much money" but I say, you can certainly spend too much time trying to make money that you neglect other important things in life.




I've seen really poor people still happy, because they lack so much that they actually appreciate what they do have.


Pic credit


And I've seen really rich people quite miserable, because they are too pre-occupied with what they have that they don't realize what they lack is something swiping credit cards won't get them.





So I asked myself, "Would I rather be a poor man with a complete, happy but hungry family to feed or would I rather be a rich man who can provide his family all sorts of luxuries except the basic love a parent should be able to give?"

I found myself choosing the first option.




It's easier to fill an empty stomach than trying to teach one how to love and live life to the fullest.




You can give that hungry man money to feed his family and they will be happy and full, but what are you going to give that rich man to make his life complete?

Everyone needs something to complete them. Usually, career and status isn't enough.



(p.s - Of course I'm not talking about so poor until no food to eat then die lah. Even love and happiness cannot save you from dying of hunger. I'm talking about poor but still surviving.)





Money is not the key to happiness, but it's definitely one of the bare essentials... there is no denying it.

But people still seem to forget that there are some things in life that cannot be bought.







Nice to know. Sad in some ways. All in all, very personal to me...



xoxo,
Jess

l4d addiction



Note to self:
Stop playing so much L4D and do something more productive!!!



God I hate being addicted to things, especially games! I'm such a geek in disguise.

I'm off to catch just a lil bit of shut-eye, then imma shower and imma complete my advertorials and project. Thank god for reliable boyfriends who help out with projects - makes up for unreliable team mates.


xoxo,
Jess

i miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Cuddly Creature One misses her Cuddly Two..


Shiberty cookies and milk misses DaNang cupcakes and tea!!!!!!!!!!!


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Just as I was typing this post, I received a text saying,

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I love you that much, soooooooooo much it has no beginning or an end, it is infinite, it is everything, it is me, cupcakes and tea."

GAHHHHHHHHH kthx now I miss him 10x more!!!

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It's freaking 3am and I haven't showered all day how gross :P

But with good reason! I've spent the first half of my day playing L4D with my L4D husband, then the second half talking to University representatives and it seems like I'm going to take my advanced diploma @ Monash University, then take my degree @ University of Melbourne.


SO EXCITING!!!

Then then then, I spent the last 5 hours researching and deciding on which hotel to stay @ Orlando with my baby, and FINALLY we've decided on not one hotel, but two!



There's just too many good hotels to pick from, so we thought, why limit ourselves to one?!?!



Totally ingenious idea contributed by Sam, I wouldn't have thought of staying at 2 hotels otherwise ;)

We're gonna be there for 19 nights!!!!!

And I thought the previous time I stayed at Las Vegas for 2 weeks was long enough already.




Buttttt I'm going with my baby boy this time, so the fun will be endless!

We've decided on...



Westgate Lakes Resort & Spa




Because Sam likes the jacuzzi!


And the fact that it's equipped with a kitchen so we can whip up home-cooked meals for each other :) ...even if it just came out from a microwave lol!





And I like the fact that..



It has nice scenery and gardens for us to take slow morning walks!






And here comes my fav part!!!





"The resort includes two tennis courts, two sand volleyball courts, jogging/walking paths, a basketball court, and a miniature golf course. Rentals include boats, canoes, and kayaks for the lake and adult's, children's, and surrey bicycles."



We'll be there for 20 days, so whenever we get sick of all the theme parks and exciting stuff, we can stay in and do slow-paced stuff like just renting a boat and sail around aimlessly the whole day at the comfort of our hotel :)



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The second one is Hyatt Regency Grand Cypress











It sits on a little beach area too, with another private lake Windsong!!! How fab!!!!

Obviously more water sports and scenery :)



And both hotels are located super close to Walt Disney World + all the other stuff!


HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I JUST CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!!



I know, I just know it will be the best time of my life so far! Even though it hasn't happened yet :P

But, HOW CAN IT NOT BE?!?!


Ohhh god why is it only October now? December, come quickly!!! This will be, by far my best Christmas present ever :)



We've decided on the hotels today, gonna start booking attractions tomorrow. CANNOT. EFFING. WAIT.

SO MUCH TO DO!


I wanna live in Orlando :(



ANYWAY proper update soon-ish, madly busy, advertorials to post, project deadlines to rush, study for exam coz school's out in a week..

But all I can think of is L4D and Orlando and Sam -.-


Oh, and I don't have anything to wear for the Nuffnang Blog Awards.. gg.

SEE

YA ALL!!!


xoxo,
Jess

Random food (and foot) adventures with Sam

Desperately wanted to go for a swim just now, but it's just not the same when Sam's not there with me..



Love swimming around 5+ or 6 the most, when the sun's just about to go down, and everything's golden and breezy and the day's most beautiful and peaceful :)

People settling down, getting off work, getting ready to have dinner with their families..

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I reckon it's the best time of the day, since I'm not exactly a morning person.

Mornings are very nice too, but if only I could wake up in time for it :P







Night swimming and BBQ by the pool, just for the both of us!

To satisfy his cravings for cancer-promoting burnt food that he's been talking about for such a long time..



I'm going to fucking miss this place like shit when we move out of here, which I'm hoping will be as late in the future as possible...

But then again, I'd most probably be living in Melbourne next year, I plan to further my studies there and Sam will get us a place to stay together, so nothing will separate us then!!




So exciting to think about, my future's never looked so bright and promising.

:)))))))))))))))))



I never used to think about the future alot, but I find myself doing that much more often now which is a great thing because it's worth doing when it always puts you in a dreamy mode and a smile on your face.








My maid Devi trying to start the fire... I'm scared of fire, so I didn't help out. I didn't wanna walk to the other side either, since there were 2 big fat snails on the ground next to the BBQ pit, and I'm scared of stepping of them!!


Fuck this, I'm scared of everything!




When I cook something, I'm terrified I'll do something extremely stupid and wrong and burn myself, or when I microwave something I always have this nagging feeling it's going to blow up in my face -___-

And when I'm in the car recently, I'm also scared of crashing, and will get kan chiong whenever the driving goes abit haywire.


WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???? So uptight.. zzz. I've always been scared of alot of things but not THIS scared!



I think it's because alot of situations in my life just seem too good to be true that I believe something tragic will suddenly happen, like I find out I have a brain tumour or Sam gets killed in a car accident or something, you know how they say when things seem too good to be true, they're not?


Ok end of psychotic rant.


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It took a long time to get the fire started, and I mean a long time, close to an hour or something?

Besides the fact I was starving to death and felt like my insides were eating me alive, I actually didn't mind too much since I had the whole pool to myself to play with ;)



Hate it when I have to share the pool with others (duh there are 65 blocks in my condo) but it's mad annoying when people are doing laps and shit and you can't float around like a lost beach ball!






......FINALLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY






Bf buttering the shitload of food I picked out.


It's not your typical BBQ food, and yeah we didn't marinate it ourselves, CBF and no time! Just threw processed-ready-to-go food on top.


DAMN YUMMY NONETHELESS :P

I mean, mexican wings and garlic bread and sausages and honey pork ribs and satay and corn and potato, how can it not be absolutely yums??







LOL


Then again, it MIGHT, it just MIGHT be biased because yeah half of the food was half-burnt lolol.

But slightly burnt food always tastes better anyway!

Actually I feel abit paiseh to blog about my food encounters on my blog lor. They're all so fail HAHAHAHAHAH but then again this IS my personal blog, so I'll show the world what a fail cook I am whether they like it or care about it or not!



I've always thought that the way some people always post about their very average, normal meals is retarded..


Not like food reviews or yummy food rave or I cooked this type of posts, like the really very sian "Hi I had chicken rice at my house downstair's kopitiam for lunch today" type of post.

How mundane pls??

It's like, unless you live in an unknown part of South Africa and have never seen food like sushi before but somehow still have internet connection, how is it fascinating at all?





You know what's fascinating?? How fast my sausages got burnt on the grill.





First batch of food cooked, absofuckinglutely burnt AHAHAHAHAHA.

Don't worry, we scraped off the burnt parts before stuffing it in our mouths... half of it anyway.








Finished up most of the food, gave half of it to Devi and Jeremy though.

Corn on the cob is mucho yums, healthy too! Or at least it feels healthy.


Makes me feel like I'm an organic person, wholesome, like biting into a fresh apple instead of being a princess and having it peeled and chopped up. Lol idk what kind of logic is that but it's just the vibe it gives me, cuz the image is there!







Anyway, after a very satisfying but damn damn damn unhealthy meal (we had sore throats before, and after the BBQ, we woke up the next morning with our throats feeling like we swallowed sand in our sleep)

We went for more swimming then went up to shower and to my horror...


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I discovered my left foot's big toenail was half RIPPED OFF!!!!!!!




Ewwwwwwwww how gross?!?


I was like "WTF NOOOOOOOO"... Amazingly, it didn't hurt, but it just felt very very VERY WEIRD.

I freaked out because I didn't know what to do, just leave it half hanging or just cut it out? What if I cut it and it starts to bleed?


Sam says when I was swimming the nail probably got soft and tore when he stepped on my foot or something (yeah nice theory thanks alot) so I should just cut it off.




After a million trillion gazillion years of procrastination, I decided to cut it off..


Actually, Sam cut it off for me because I was freaking out too much to do it myself lol.







The aftermath.

Meh.


Not sure if it's any better than the first pic... but hey, thank effing god there's still a layer on top of the skin, so it's not like exposed and bleeding or prone to infections or anything!


Yeah, you probably didn't expect to see weird grotesque pictures of my toe when you clicked on my blog today, but you did anyway..



Gross but still mildly interesting I guess. At least more than looking at sushi.





Ok anyway moving on from my miserable toe...


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Random pic of my baby cooking pancakes for me early in the morning!

He did this every morning when he was here.



Every morning I'd get waken up by a kiss on the cheek and a "Good morning beautiful" and then he'll leave the room and I'll fall back asleep and the next thing I know is,

"Rise and shine, breakfast is ready!"




HOW AWESOME? ;)



I've been absolutely obssessed with pancakes and sausages and scrambled eggs recently, I want to have them for every meal lol.


I have them everyday for breakfast, sometimes for lunch/dinner too hahaha. I use Betty Crocker's pancakes mix, SOOOO GOOD you have to try to know what I mean... Betty you are my new best friend.


10 times better than McDonalds hotcakes set plz. Like wayyy better, and since you cook it yourself, it's fresh and if you cook it like me, you'd get the edges slightly crispy, sooo good.









Hai there. Best breakfast in the world right here. :')

All that's missing in this picture is the sausages and pic of Jessica's very happy face in the background.


Remember I blogged once about hotel's scrambled eggs? I can't do scrambled eggs well, but SAM DOES IT GREAT!! I mean just look at the pic plz, how mushy and yums does it look? It's not watery too!

LOVE IT.


Is there anything my baby can't do???...(except walk in heels and apply fake eyelashes. *flips hair*)



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Us having steam boat at home :)


Not a fan of chinese food, no matter steamboat or dim sum or whatever... But I guess some are ok and at least steamboat is generally not unhealthy considering no oil is used, only boiled ingredients!

Plus waiting for the food to cook is fun~









Random picture of a slice of a chocolate cake that I baked!

Used Betty Crocker's chocolate mix, like I said Betty is my best friend and all I had to do was drizzle caramel over it and add whipped cream, and there's yummy freshly baked chocolate cake for everyone at home, yay!


I suck at baking and cooking or anything homely, but I still attempt at doing it anyway, because it gives the home a very homely comfortable vibe... Like, y'know, having the kitchen smell like batter and all that, or baking cakes/cookies for your family is just fun.


TOO BAD my family like not interested in the stuff I bake, everytime so skeptical and reluctant to try _|_

At least Sam is always enthusiastic!! I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!



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Random pic of Sam waiting for the spiciest hot dog he's eaten in his life ;)

Scratch that, he said it was by fat the spiciest shit he's had like, EVER.


And yeah, my bf can take pretty spicy food.


He was sooo eager to try it after my brother told him about it, apparently Jeremy teared after like a bite or something, lol wtf!


It's at Kallang Leisure Park, 3rd floor, Korean stall.





It's called "WHO-AM-I"... ahahah I think it's supposed to mean that it's so spicy you forget who you are?


After the vendor served him the hot dog, he said, "Good luck! Take your time to eat."



And the verdict?





Sam happily posing with his harmless hot dog, little does he know...


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Sam: Sooo.. let's see what this bad boy tastes like...

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Sam: Hrrrmm.. this ain't too bad.. I think.

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Sam: Um k this is actually kinda spicy....


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After like 6 seconds, it became:




Sam: Yeah okay THIS SHIT IS VERY VERY VERY SPICY!!




LOL then he gave up and drank coke~



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And of course, a foodie post would not be complete without THE BEST FOOD LIKE EVER EVER EVER!




At our favourite indian restaurant :)

He loves indian food too YAYYYYY he won't complain even when I want to eat it like 4 times a week lol!




I AM SALIVATING ALL OVER MY NEW COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAHHHHHH I wish I had this right now.


Butter chicken, brinjal masala, some mutton thingy and fish curry! Fish curry wasn't that great, everything else was, was..."BOOMZ" as Ris would say it.


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Okayyyyyyyyy end of foodie post!!!

I'll post the rest of my pics with Sam soon-ish~



Now, time to play L4d, then I shall go research on places me and Sam could visit in Orlando.


I already have a great list of different activities, but since we're going for a rather long time, I wanna make full use of it!

If anyone has recommendations, do let me know!



We're of course going to Disney World, Universal Studios, Wet n Wild, you know all the theme parks, and I'm thinking of taking a few days trip to Miami too, hit the beaches and stuff.



How I wish I can fastforward time to December!!! Sigh.


Anyway BYE!


P.-S if you know of any blogshops selling contact lenses, can you leave a comment here to let me know? THANKS!!



xoxo,
Jess

NEW COMPUTER!!!

FWAH I am so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAS A NEW TOY NOW :D :D :D :D :D


Sam bought me a new computer yesterday!!


It runs on Windows 7, I didn't even know that existed, I thought Windows Vista was the newest. Damn futuristic plz, the last time I had a computer it was running only on XP.


Main reason is because he tried playing L4D on my laptop and he said it was so bad, he doesn't know how I manage it. And yeah, my laptop always overheats / crashes, so he thinks my Sony Vaio is a piece of shit, lol.

So now, I'm blogging on my new computer, with a few parts handed down from my brother and his friends, THANK YOU JER, EPPY & JAMIE & co for helping us out with the computer!!

And if you're reading this baby, thank you thank you thank you I love it!!!!!!!



I am soooo happy and excited, we went to get me some awesome speakers today, and now I'm blasting music from my very sexy Creative speakers, my room feels like a club!

Love the "boom" from the boombox, whatever that big box is la hahaha.


It "booms" so loudly that I feel gushes of air from it everytime it "booms" wtf.



I swear music sounds soooo different when you play it from crappy speakers & high quality songs, they sound like a whole new song altogether!!! (most of this I have already raved about on my twitter)



And my screen is so big, I actually have to tilt my head up and down to look at the top / bottom of the screen wtf. Everything's so much bigger and detailed, plus the sound effects, when I play L4D I actually get scared now because I feel like the zombies are in my face lol wtf.




OMG HAPPINESS IS WHEN I PLAY L4D COMPLETELY LAG FREE!!!!!

Yes yes I can't stop ravinggggggggggggg because I am just that delirious! If you've lived with the crappiness of a laptop for a long time, you'd know why too!



I'll still use my laptop, probably a lot less because why the fuck would I want to when I got this baby! I'll use my lappy when I want to surf the net in bed I guess, can't be arsed to bring it out...





SEE YA ALL! There is so much to do!

I'm going to play L4D till my brain explodes, and I wanna watch Gossip Girl full screen high quality mode, I wanna blast music all night long...


I'm one muthafuking happy girl!!!!!



Will update with pictures soon, I just sent Sam off to the airport just now... sucks that he's gone, I'll miss him but how can I be upset when I have this massive black toy sitting on my desk right now?!?!


*Update

Oh yea I forgot to include this!!




OMIGAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We're going to Orlando, Florida for Christmas and New Year's!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!

Disneyland, here I come baby!!




xoxo,
Jess

Skeptical

This entry will briefly cover the two and a half weeks I spent with Her for the first time, most of which I think she covered in her blog.

Well the events anyway, the good stuff however, is not known and I'm not sure it will ever be posted and probably won't be because of privacy sakes but there's a lot of things that were significant to me which were left out for one reason or another.. it's the little things in life that makes life worth living.

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The 8 hour flights to Singapore are just death, they really are, fuck them to hell, I love her I really do but my god flying is like sitting in the doctor's waiting room just to have a 10 minute check up and poof next thing you know you're on the damn plane again.


I'll change this, fuck oaf I will.

The first time however was a little different. I flew Emirates, so they had movies and crap and 1293129 other things to do but all I kept doing was keep my eyeballs on the ETA display : 7 hours 45mins till arrival OHHH MYYYY GODDDDD.




I'm not a heavy sleeper, in fact I almost never sleep soundly. I wish I could take some tranquilizers or something that would knock me out for 7 hours then I'd wake up but that's probably not allowed...


As we came closer to destination, I realised the time I told her to come and meet me at the airport was completely wrong so I tried to use the phone thing that Emirates had installed to make in flight calls.
Fact: Sam Nang Chan and phone technology don't mix too well, that's probably why my mobile is 5 years old and counting.




Eventually me fiddling around with my credit card and the phone pissed off the person sitting next to me, evoking the response "Since yours doesn't work, wanna try mine?"

I replied I had no idea how they work anyway, my Australian instincts kicked in and I made conversation with this man and his wife. A very agreeable couple indeed.




They asked why I was flying and all those sorts of questions, but the big issues were, I'm flying to meet someone, I don't know her almost at all, my parents don't know what I'm doing (like i care).
I explained my circumstances to this couple, since I probably won't see them ever again but then again the last time I had that thought in my head, I committed to a long distance relationship.



The sky is very blue today. If I knew where they were staying, I wouldn't mind contacting them to tell them how great things turned out, their positive attitude rubbed off on me that day and I was in a great mood.
10 mins more to see her, what else could bring me down?

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She would be looking around for him,
not knowing what direction he was coming from,
long for him while looking out into the distance when suddenly she would spot a person just standing there staring directly at her,
finding themselves moving towards each other,
the attraction too great and they would embrace in the middle of a busy airport obstructing traffic but they wouldn't care,
they had each other,
nothing else in the world matters.


End of daydream*





What actually happened was probably the opposite, I saw her and froze like a turkey before Thanksgiving and the first words I spoke to her probably was that garble garble sound too. What you see on a 1 mega pixel camera does not do the real thing justice at all, I walked up and hugged her, my body stiff and robotic, definitely not the romantic embrace I imagined.


The quick arms around a tree to tie a rope kind of thing..*slaps head*
Yes, a perfectly good opportunity to make a good impression completely wasted.

Oh well suck it up and move on.




Even with all its glitter and glamour of the events that took place next, I found my greatest joys in the simplest of activities.... such as Swimming.




I never really liked playing in water, I liked my legs on solid ground, easier to fend off predators and run when there's dangers.

All this changes dramatically when you're swimming on a starry night in an empty pool, with the person you love, the water literally melts your problems away.

The solitude of that place really got to me, there was paradise in that concrete jungle afterall... an oasis of all that I hold dear.

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We did a lot in Singapore, I'm not really big on tourist attractions but it still had things to keep a new couple busy for at least a few weeks.
The time in the cab rides back home were spent sleeping for her, I kept watch just in case aliens landed. I would sit right up close to her and hold her hand and she would rest her head on my shoulder and slowly doze off.



It was a common occurence, I would sit there looking at the passing traffic and the tall HDBs and such and wondered to myself if this country would be a nice place to live in or not.



I would reflect on the events of the day and remember a montage of memories and the things that were said.
I would picture her laughing at things, like me catching her trying to conceal a burp after eating half her weight in ice cream.


It was always a feeling of content, but on one occassion something different happened.




I was sitting there, lost in my own thoughts, when something contacted my cheeks. When I looked down she was still fast asleep. Yes, she kissed me an unconscious kiss, maybe not a big deal to most but to me it was a turning point.

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I knew I would one day live in this country I had so many negative feelings about, maybe not for long but as long as she calls it home, I would be there too, because I felt I'd found my home... and it was wherever she was.



xoxo,
Jess (and Sam!)

Are we together??

I told Sam how much I loved his first blog entry, so he wrote more!!!! *swoons*


I love how my blog can have another author now, yay! It's always interesting to hear about a relationship from different views of the 2 people involved.


Here is Sam's 2nd blog entry!!



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Ever prepared for public speaking?


You would go through each moment in your mind about a million times and every time you would add more to what you have to say, making it better, maybe longer, more interesting to captivate the audience.


Every second clear as day so that at the moment of truth you would look down and be sure that you put on pants today, so that you could confirm 100% that you wouldn't fuck up.

The big day comes, so you're all dressed up and you are introduced, the audience claps and you get off your seat, wave and approach the podium..



You stare across the sea of faces gawking at you, judging you, and at that very moment you realise you forgot your cue cards.


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I like you, you like me...... ok so what now?

Well I'll tell you what happened next - nothing.



Life was all fine and dandy, the happenings of that fateful night in history. The conversations definitely changed though, to "When did you realise you developed feelings for me?" and "Why didn't you say anything?"



The answers were simple obviously.

I was a little scared piece of shit guy who couldn't face the fact that he's fallen head over loafers in love with someone an 8 hour plane trip away, and that the future, if there even was one, was so uncertain and going to be so stupidly difficult..



Was it even worth the trouble?

WHY YEEEEEESSSSS,
my inner self told me, that part of me that tells me what to do when brain function shuts off or is temporarily disabled.





And so the conversations continued about everything under the stars and sometimes what was above them, but eventually the "next step" had to be taken - a 6000 km step over a country filled with kangaroos, over a sea and into what was something called the most hateful place in the world.... I mean Singapore, the place she lived in.





It was put forward many times, "When should I come over?"

The response was, "I don't want to pressure you, I know you have work and things but hopefully before the end of the year."





The deadline was set, end of the year?


In 5 months I might as well go to war with North Korea and come back to find her in the arms of another boy/man/creature.


Then it dawned upon me that I was a single male, no kids, money in his pocket, no financial commitments, what was I waiting for?

I can pack and go see her whenever the hell I feel like it....YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!








I don't think I told myself this enough and I'll probably keep telling myself this till the day I die.

"Shiberty cookies and fucking milk", I'm going to meet her.




My face went pale and my head light, what was no more than a fantasy, even what could of been just my imagination was becoming more and more real.

A reasonable date was set to be after her birthday because apparently with each number added to your age, you're meant to become wiser, more mature and more of an adult.


Little did I know in the real world everyone is childish, just look at Australian politicians.



20th of September started to feel like a long way off, and the date of our inevitable face to face encounter was ever pushed forward, closer, a little more with every nudge from Australia or Singapore.

We were dying to meet each other and there was no way around it.





Sounds like all cookies and cupcakes, pun intended, but it all wasn't that simple. There were problems that crept up on us that were shrouded before by the intense thrill of excitement but they couldn't be ignored now.


"What if you don't like me in real life?", "What if I don't like you?!?"


Yes, even in those purest of heart there is doubt.





What was once anticipation, excitement and joy is now replaced with the bitter taste of uncertainness.

What was only clear and calm waters now had storm clouds gathered, but the big question was asked - WERE WE TOGETHER?



How far were we going to push an online fanatical fascination into that of reality, where is the line drawn on such things?


Could we really say that we were together without even looking at each other, without even breathing the same air, is the person more fiction then mortal?



Well the answer I came up with was easy - "Yes."


Plain and simple, I was soooo far in, I couldn't make heads or tails but did she feel the same way?

Would she gamble on the small chance that we may like what can not be expressed over the world wide web?



In my mind I highly doubt it, a healing heart is not so easily fixed. Fixed it may not be,
but may as well do it the Vietnamese way - a trait I'm proud of having course through my veins.

Call it trickery, deceit, or down right sad, I prefer to think of it as just a small nudge, Cupid sure isn't doing his job anymore, just look at all the miserable people in the world, so I might as well put on my wings and dust off the bow and arrow.




I thought to myself, I may as well tell her brother.





According to the laws of the universe, dating a friend's sister, I'm breaking about 50% of those laws, 40% more is broken just by the fact I'm of Vietnamese descent and the 9% was probably broken when I was a moronic teenager.

Note there is a 1% margin of error. I was breaking the rules and I didn't really care, this was a great opportunity because there would be a high chance of him asking "Are you two now attached?"




That's all I needed. Since this is a personal blog, I may as well come clean, better now than when I'm in front of God begging for forgiveness.




The conversation to my recollection went like this:



DaNang cupcakes and tea: fuck aye he just asked if we were together?... are we?

Shiberty cookies and milk: ummmm....

DaNang cupcakes and tea: quick i have him on the vent and hes asking....

Shiberty cookies and milk: i dont know ........

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Congratulations Sam, some of the pivotal moments in your life and you can't remember jack shit, well yeah I really don't remember much more than that but eventually we did confirm that we were together as "boyfriend and girlfriend"

You might say not sure if that's an upgrade from "l4d husband and wife", who knows but things were looking swell for this happy couple.



Bright days were forecast for a long time, till Sam got drunk off his nut, came tumbling home to talk to Jess.

It upset her like crazy and broke the long distance trust that he had built that felt like 1923812381203 years.



The details of that day I leave known to the two of us, till she decides to one day blog about it. I guess maybe I will, when I'm famous and people actually care about what I do, which will be never.


A small hurdle was eventually cleared. When I say small, I mean mountainous for the two of us.


We never really quarrel or get upset at each other, but this was one of those rare occassions and they still feel like shit every time. Only a few days before I first land in singapore and this has to happen.. sucks dogs wangs really.



Eventually the events of that night is forgotten and we go back to talking to each other
about everything and nothing,

but it would never be the same again because soon, that person who didn't have any shape or form would be standing in front of me WTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFF.



It's a good time to end this entry, may not be as fun and exciting as others but it needed to be said because great relationships, great battles, great stories aren't accomplished in a day, they are the accumulation of a lot of small but important steps.


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And yes, 6000km is a small step.



The biggest has yet to be taken, "What the fuck am I going to say to her when I see her for the fucking first time in... ever?"







Well, look forward to my next entry titled 'SKEPTICAL'.





xoxo,
Jess (and Sam!)