Virginity

You know, I get this question all the time -

"Are you a virgin?"
(or something along those lines)



....Seriously, why the hell would you even want to know?






If it's some horny guy having dirty thoughts while asking me the question then I guess I can understand why (although still wtf), but honestly I know there are many girls who have asked me anonymously too, and I always find it extremely puzzling because I personally really don't care who is a virgin or who is not.


Where guys wanna stick their penises into or how often girls wanna spread their legs.. such obscene information, why on EARTH would I want to find out?!




Just the thought of other people having sex grosses me out, even if it's a really hot character like Zac Efron! Like ewww... can you say P-E-R-S-O-N-A-L???

I think whatever people do in the bedroom should REMAIN in the bedroom as a secret, because I sure as heck don't wanna know about it (sometimes my girlfriends talk to me about sex and I get a little freaked out)



So tell me people, why do you (or others) want to know whether so-and-so is a virgin or not?





Like I said, I'm sure many of the anonymous people asking me that question were also girls and I doubt they were all kinky lesbians..






How I see it, there are only 2 possibilities as to why someone would ask the classic "Are You A Virgin?" question.




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1st reason) You are "curious."


Indirectly meaning you are also perverted and gross. There is no such thing as "innocent curiosity" when it comes to asking / talking about sex. "Curiousity" is the word you use when you watch an educational documentary, not porn.

Why are you even thinking about such things??? They say almost every thought in your head is accompanied by a picture, whether by memory or by imagination...

So it means you are picturing me having sex in your head as you ask me that question?? GROSS!!




Get away from me, you pervert! (whether you are a guy or girl, it doesn't matter, you are STILL a pervert.) Go wank to porn and leave me alone. Don't bother me with your trivial fantasies and nonsensical questions, thanks.


SHAME ON YOU.




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2nd reason) You want to judge me.



To which I say, FUCK OFF!!!! And fuck you!


What the hell is wrong with you and why are you one of those people who must always find a negative flaw in somebody so that you can make unfair, biased judgements about them in your head while secretly trying to feel better about yourself??



There is no politically correct answer for this question, it's like a trick question and any answer you give leads you to a death trap.






If you say "YES, I've had sex before", people would be all like

"ZOMG YOU SLUT!!! How could you? Disgusting! Your vagina is smelly and huge and wide and you are a loose woman! You have no morals! What would your husband say?? I thought you were a nice girl! I looked up to you!! Nobody will want you when you're older.. blah blah... fat and ugly... stupid fat pig..."







If you say "NO, I've never had sex before", people would be all like

"ZOMG YOU SLUT!!! Who would believe that you're still a virgin? You have a boyfriend and he stays over in your house, somehow that automatically makes you a cheap whore and even if you guys don't really have sex, you still have no morals!!!! You're a liar on top of being a slut."




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.......See what I mean?


So more often than not, I end up deleting such questions because it's a waste of my time. Also because I am uncomfortable discussing with random people (or any sorta people really) my intimate affairs. You don't have to know!!!

I have better things to do than to sit around explaining myself and give people even more reasons to judge me.






But today, I received a question in Formspring going,


"hey, you don't really seem to value your virginity? why? is it cause you're more open minded? just curious. hope this doesnt offend you. :/"




And I think it's high time I finally explain WHY people should STFU about virginity once and for all. I know I'm not the only girl who gets this shit from people, so I believe I speak for many chicks when I type this entry.


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First off, what is it about virginity that people should value??

Is it the INNOCENCE of a virgin, or the non-broken hymen?




If it's the innocence, then no thanks, I'm not interested in being "innocent". Innocent is the naive fool who knows nothing about the harsh realities of this world we live in.

Furthermore, "innocent" is not a word I'd like people to use to describe me. Witty, intelligent, charming.. all these are well-received comments, but innocent?!




When somebody says you are "innocent", would you even take it as a compliment? It says nothing good about your character besides hinting you're quite oblivious. More than likely it's just a polite way of saying you're ignorant. Pretty sure that is what people mean 99% of the time.









There's no such thing as an innocent adult anyway, we ALL lose our innocence when we grow up.

Innocence is being free from moral wrong - and none of us are free from that when it comes to sexually-orientated thoughts.





Watching porn, staring at boobs / butts / penises, masturbating, thinking about how good David Beckham / Megan Fox *insert some other movie star here* would look with their shirt off..

I'm sure every one of you reading this has done one or several of the above before - virgins or not!






How can you be a hypocrite and claim that virgins are innocent then?

You have NOT been innocent since the day you've had your first sexual thought about the opposite sex. Just because you don't have the guts or means to get fucked or because you choose not to does not classify you as "innocent".

Your proper label is "unlaid", if anything.




How is a dude that frequently watches porn wanking off to random sluts on his computer screen any more innocent than a dude who has sex with his long-term girlfriend??

The way I see it - the latter is a much better option because a couple engages in intercourse out of passion, chemistry and love (well sometimes anyway) and the wanker dude just wants sexual satisfaction for himself.

Neither are innocent, but there is a BIG difference between them.



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What is this whole nonsense about "Sex Only After Marriage" and "Sex With One Partner For Life" anyway?






What happens if a married couple has sex frequently but then gets a divorce? Is the woman still allowed to have sex with her next husband? Oh Snap! Kinda confusing isn't it? Since she's not considered "pure" or a "virgin" anymore.





And for the people saying sex should only be for making babies, are you seriously going to turn your husband down every single time he has his urges?? It's hard to imagine a marriage like that lasting, which would indirectly lead to a divorce and Oh Snap!

Back to the dilemma on whether a divorcee should be allowed to have sex without sinning again.





I don't get why people talk about premarital sex like it's such a TERRIBLE thing to do. Is expressing passionate feelings physically really all that bad?

I don't approve of girls acting like sluts and sleeping with random guys for attention and money but has it ever occured to you guys that some couples who have sex before marriage simply do it out of love?





It's not always the grotesquely filthy completely physical sinful act your mother told you it is.




Why is it only ok to have sex AFTER a legalized marriage?

What IS a legalized marriage besides a bunch of of papers..





Who is to say that an unwed couple cannot love each other as wholeheartedly and truly as a couple that is certified to be married by law??

Pretty sure Adam & Eve weren't officially married before they did the badonkadonk.




Documents can't certify love, it only certifies an agreement
. And if a document is what is needed to prove my commitment to my partner then I'd rather not be married at all because I don't want to stoop to such a low level.



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Let's move onto the physical part about being a virgin.



The only difference between a virgin and a girl who's had sex is a broken hymen. And it can't be about the broken hymen, SURELY..





How retarded can people be? According to this logic, is it safe to assume that any girl with a broken / torn hymen is not a virgin??


You do realize that girls can accidentally tear / damage their hymens by various non sexual ways, such as falling hard on the ground and landing on their privates or being hit down south with a big enough impact / stretching excessively (gymnasts and athletes) / fingering (YES it happens) or even using a wrongly sized tampon!!




You can tear your hymen without sex and even with sex, sometimes the hymen doesn't bleed when damaged.


It is not possible for a doctor to examine a woman's vagina and instantly determine whether she is a virgin or not JUST by looking at her hymen, or the absence of it.






So to all you hypocritical self-righteous girls out there judging other chicks for "not being virgins" - hey, you just might not be a virgin yourself, sucker!!!


All the hymen really is is a membrane that surrounds / partially covers your vajayjay. It's not a sign from god proving that you're holier than your other female friends because they've had sex and you haven't.






...Which is the point that I'm trying to get to.


I'm sick and tired of people concluding that girls who are not virgins = dirty cheap SLUTS.

Or that just because you ARE a virgin, you are supposedly "BETTER".






Sorry to break it to you boys and girls, but just because you haven't had sex before doesn't make you - IN ANY WAY - superior to a person who's already done the deed.

You simply just haven't gotten laid yet.




Are you considered "more innocent" or "Better" just because you haven't had sex? NO!


So get off your stupid high horse. In what way are you any different from a person who's already had sex?...

You have a tighter vagina, big deal. Betcha tampons hurt like a bitch.



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There are 3 kinds of people in this world -




1) People who get laid all the time

2) People who wanna get laid but can't

3) People who choose not to get laid



If you fall into category 2, sucks to be you.

If you fall into category 3 - Good on ya if you're waiting for "that perfect moment / someone"..




It's all very nice in theory but don't go around sticking your nose into other peoples business, making harsh judgements about them while forcing your own morals and views upon others just so ya feel better about not getting some.




Grow up!


There is so much more to a person's character that defines them rather than whether they are virgins or not. Your morals are IRRELEVANT to me.



Who the fuck are you, or your religion to judge me and other people?

I don't care what the bible says, because I'm not christian / catholic and I certainly don't believe in your god so your rules don't apply to me, ok?



Life is too precious and short to let my actions, decisions and thoughts become ultimately ruled by random ramblings in an ancient book, or by what others might think of me and what momma says.

Woe be to the person who has so many nonsensical rules to follow!!!



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P.S - Haven't given my stand on whether I am really a virgin or not, but as you could probably already tell, I am not interested in answering. Like I said, it's a trick question. I don't care what people think anyway, but it pisses me off when 'tards try to impose their views on me.


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P.P.S - I didn't write this post to encourage girls to lead a provocative lifestyle. I just hope people would be less ignorant and think that being a virgin is "better" or NOT being a virgin is "so cool / bad"

It's not cool / better / bad or anything of the sort.. At the end of the day, it's just a personal choice you make in your life - something that you can't get back once it's lost. But even so, it's not the end of the world when your virginity is gone - a new chapter in life begins as you embrace your sexuality, become more of an adult and discover things about yourself and your partner that you've never known before.



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P.P.P.S -
I know there are a lot of girls out there who have lost their virginity to a guy whom they thought was the right one for them at the time but got dumped soon afterwards.. thus feeling very ashamed about what happened because they feel like they've lost something special and they really regret it.


If the next boy you meet really loves you, he wouldn't care about what happened in the past. In this case, the age old quote "Those who matter won't mind, and those who mind don't matter" is very applicable!



I'm sure you have SO MUCH more than just virginity to offer him. Who would have known that the boy you lost it to wouldn't have turned out the right one?

People in love take risks and chances, but it doesn't always pay off. Don't beat yourself up over it, it's not your fault. We shouldn't punish ourselves or our current / future loved ones for the mistakes those who've hurt us have made.




Life is too short for regrets..
Every mistake is a lesson in disguise, just be careful who you let in next time.


I just want to tell you that you're still beautiful, virgin or not. ♥



xoxo,
Jess